Thank you for the reminder, Moderator.
No one on this message board fills the profile of being someone who lives and thrives on victimhood. No one. In fact, the majority of shares are the experiences people have endured with cults and LGAT's and are the experiences of people who have genuinely been a true 'victim' in every sense of the word. Those sorts of people who live and thrive on being in victimhood would not be drawn to a forum such as this - they will be constantly seeking tea and sympathy and people to prop them up and listen to the same story over-and-over.
I'm not victim-bashing when I state this. I was in a state of grief and loss, as well as severe mental health problems for a very long time - years! Thing is, I didn't know what was wrong with me. I needed help and healing and was unaware that anything was wrong. But people got sick and tired of me, ignored me and were quite harsh. But no one ever fully listened to me and guided me into the right direction to get the help I needed - I didn't want to be medicated for life either. If I could not perceive my own mindset I was unable to acknowledge, and thus get help. It took a massive breakdown and suicide attempts for it to manifest and for me to finally acknowledge I was unwell and so get the help I needed. Many years later -all good now! It is okay to be a victim - it really is. We all need to experience it to fully appreciate what it is offering us. And the biggest thing it shows us is COMPASSION. You learn to be so much more helpful and compassionate as a consequence. More patient and tolerant. Learn to actively listen. Learn to love people. However long it takes, it takes. It will be different for everyone. If its taking longer for some, then let it be and support them through it with love. There must be a reason why some of us take longer than others to work through having been a victim of things not of our own doing. It is wrong to judge, criticise or be cruel to people who are genuinely suffering. Or to mock or shame too!
But there is a difference between those that are genuine victim, however long they may be stuck in that part of their life journey, and those who calculatingly and willingly 'choose' to 'play' at being a victim. Being either a genuine victim or a player does not feel good. Its horrible, vile. It does not lift or raise anyone, its just plain awful. We have to understand that. But right here, right now, on this forum, there is not one person here who is the type that plays a game of being a victim. Everyone is genuine. And everyone is brave and courageous for stepping up and sharing their (often horrific) stories of what cults did to them - WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. That is what we have to remember, and why your reminder resonated with me so much. The mind is so easily manipulated, and more so by the clever deceptions used by cults which deliberately build confusion and despair. So yes, no one goes deliberately running back to victimhood, they are trying to get out of being a victim. When you've been so mentally manipulated and under the effects of mind control you don't know what's real anymore. You think that you are on the right path, but confusion leads you back onto the wrong one. Your mind is all over the place - so no one should ever think that anyone chooses 'in sound mind and body' to go running back to something that they are trying to get out of. They are just completely and utterly confused and desperate and don't know which way to turn and who or what to trust anymore. We mustn't forget that. Its not helpful to people struggling to get their life back, do normal stuff, understand reality, and put things into perspective to have victim blaming directed at them - like it was their fault for having problems before they were entwined in a cult, or their fault for having been entwined in a cult.
So while there are people who are happy and thrive on 'playing' at being a victim, this forum is not where they come to, so that argument or example is not required here as this is the wrong place for it to be used. All the people here are incredibly brave souls who have found the strength and courage to disengage from the horrific experience of being in a cult and under mind control, and while all have been a victim, what they need is the space to become who they are again. Sharing on a forum such as this is the most scary thing to do when you have left a cult. It can take weeks or months before you make your first post - out of pure fear of repercussions from the cult, of being pulled in to it again, of harassment and bullying or other cruel things happening to you. And when people post moments when they are being weak and confused we have to remember they are being vulnerable, misled, coerced and persuaded to go back - they are not choosing to go back and be a victim. We also have to remember that the effects of mind-control take a very long time to wear off - especially when you've had to listen to stuff every day and through the night - as your brain gets confused and goes cold turkey. And that's on top of everything else going on. A great time for cult people to step up and tease you with how much better your life was being in it! Again, they are abusing you and using mind-control techniques to control your decisions - its not the persons fault and they are not 'choosing' victimhood or the easy way out.
We must remember that RealLove 'creates' victims where there were none. RealLove 'creates' dependency for its own purposes and against our knowledge that it is going on. This is NOT the victims fault and does not demonstrate weakness of character or a propensity to choose poorly.
Nothing wrong either in needing the help and assistance of others for help and healing. After all, in our life journeys we need to experience 'giving' as much as 'receiving', so it is part of life to help as to be helped, to give as to receive. It does not reflect on our being needy or weak. However, in comparison to seeking help via conventional methods such as bonafide counselling, therapy, coaching, hypnosis, etc. where we will receive the help and healing we need and be empowered with tools to help us in the future, what we get with cults - and RealLove is no exception - is that this is not what we are getting at all. The people leaving RealLove still have the same issues they needed help with and which drew them to RealLove in the first place! Like some people have said, many 'years' later! The candy is held out and the carrots are dangled in all the claims about what RealLove offers (as well as other cults). We totally believe those claims. We totally believe they will help us with our issue. And when they put so much candy and carrots in the books, on the websites and in other materials we cannot help but be attracted to it. We must remember that RealLove other cults use attractive delicacies to draw people in whom they then manipulate and control to their own devices. So there is also nothing wrong in needing help from others, or giving help - but not to the degree that RealLove and cults do - controlling your decisions, choices, words, actions, everything. This is gross misuse of people's trust and vulnerability. So lets realise and accept that the good that RealLove promotes is merely candy and carrots to pull us in and get us interested and is not what they are actively promoting and fulfilling in their activities. There is nothing good about RealLove. Nothing unique and divinely gifted from God or Spirit. All just a deception to make you a victim, make you dependant in order to control you and when you become so weak and confused they are unable to help other than brand you a 'victim' and blame you for they have done to you!!!
Finally, it takes a great deal of courage to post about your experiences with a cult. Lets not make things worse for them than it already is, because it really is incredibly important that people can rely on this site for genuine experiences to inform their decision about whether or not to join a group which could potentially be a cult. We don't need to defend and support anything a cult uses (like RealLove using delicious candy and carrots) to draw people in, even if once the person leaves they can find something positive from their experience. NOTHING justifies, or ever should justify the practices of a cult however nice and loving such things are that said cult says and promotes on the surface. After all, its what they use to create genuine, unsuspecting victims whose lives are going to be decimated for many years to come - both in the cult and for years afterwards. People who share their hearts here don't need debates, victim blaming or defence of cults and that is why is it such a fantastic forum for getting 'real' stories out into the world. And who knows how many thousands of people this site/forum have saved from joining a cult over the years it has been up. Long may it continue.
No one on this message board fills the profile of being someone who lives and thrives on victimhood. No one. In fact, the majority of shares are the experiences people have endured with cults and LGAT's and are the experiences of people who have genuinely been a true 'victim' in every sense of the word. Those sorts of people who live and thrive on being in victimhood would not be drawn to a forum such as this - they will be constantly seeking tea and sympathy and people to prop them up and listen to the same story over-and-over.
I'm not victim-bashing when I state this. I was in a state of grief and loss, as well as severe mental health problems for a very long time - years! Thing is, I didn't know what was wrong with me. I needed help and healing and was unaware that anything was wrong. But people got sick and tired of me, ignored me and were quite harsh. But no one ever fully listened to me and guided me into the right direction to get the help I needed - I didn't want to be medicated for life either. If I could not perceive my own mindset I was unable to acknowledge, and thus get help. It took a massive breakdown and suicide attempts for it to manifest and for me to finally acknowledge I was unwell and so get the help I needed. Many years later -all good now! It is okay to be a victim - it really is. We all need to experience it to fully appreciate what it is offering us. And the biggest thing it shows us is COMPASSION. You learn to be so much more helpful and compassionate as a consequence. More patient and tolerant. Learn to actively listen. Learn to love people. However long it takes, it takes. It will be different for everyone. If its taking longer for some, then let it be and support them through it with love. There must be a reason why some of us take longer than others to work through having been a victim of things not of our own doing. It is wrong to judge, criticise or be cruel to people who are genuinely suffering. Or to mock or shame too!
But there is a difference between those that are genuine victim, however long they may be stuck in that part of their life journey, and those who calculatingly and willingly 'choose' to 'play' at being a victim. Being either a genuine victim or a player does not feel good. Its horrible, vile. It does not lift or raise anyone, its just plain awful. We have to understand that. But right here, right now, on this forum, there is not one person here who is the type that plays a game of being a victim. Everyone is genuine. And everyone is brave and courageous for stepping up and sharing their (often horrific) stories of what cults did to them - WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. That is what we have to remember, and why your reminder resonated with me so much. The mind is so easily manipulated, and more so by the clever deceptions used by cults which deliberately build confusion and despair. So yes, no one goes deliberately running back to victimhood, they are trying to get out of being a victim. When you've been so mentally manipulated and under the effects of mind control you don't know what's real anymore. You think that you are on the right path, but confusion leads you back onto the wrong one. Your mind is all over the place - so no one should ever think that anyone chooses 'in sound mind and body' to go running back to something that they are trying to get out of. They are just completely and utterly confused and desperate and don't know which way to turn and who or what to trust anymore. We mustn't forget that. Its not helpful to people struggling to get their life back, do normal stuff, understand reality, and put things into perspective to have victim blaming directed at them - like it was their fault for having problems before they were entwined in a cult, or their fault for having been entwined in a cult.
So while there are people who are happy and thrive on 'playing' at being a victim, this forum is not where they come to, so that argument or example is not required here as this is the wrong place for it to be used. All the people here are incredibly brave souls who have found the strength and courage to disengage from the horrific experience of being in a cult and under mind control, and while all have been a victim, what they need is the space to become who they are again. Sharing on a forum such as this is the most scary thing to do when you have left a cult. It can take weeks or months before you make your first post - out of pure fear of repercussions from the cult, of being pulled in to it again, of harassment and bullying or other cruel things happening to you. And when people post moments when they are being weak and confused we have to remember they are being vulnerable, misled, coerced and persuaded to go back - they are not choosing to go back and be a victim. We also have to remember that the effects of mind-control take a very long time to wear off - especially when you've had to listen to stuff every day and through the night - as your brain gets confused and goes cold turkey. And that's on top of everything else going on. A great time for cult people to step up and tease you with how much better your life was being in it! Again, they are abusing you and using mind-control techniques to control your decisions - its not the persons fault and they are not 'choosing' victimhood or the easy way out.
We must remember that RealLove 'creates' victims where there were none. RealLove 'creates' dependency for its own purposes and against our knowledge that it is going on. This is NOT the victims fault and does not demonstrate weakness of character or a propensity to choose poorly.
Nothing wrong either in needing the help and assistance of others for help and healing. After all, in our life journeys we need to experience 'giving' as much as 'receiving', so it is part of life to help as to be helped, to give as to receive. It does not reflect on our being needy or weak. However, in comparison to seeking help via conventional methods such as bonafide counselling, therapy, coaching, hypnosis, etc. where we will receive the help and healing we need and be empowered with tools to help us in the future, what we get with cults - and RealLove is no exception - is that this is not what we are getting at all. The people leaving RealLove still have the same issues they needed help with and which drew them to RealLove in the first place! Like some people have said, many 'years' later! The candy is held out and the carrots are dangled in all the claims about what RealLove offers (as well as other cults). We totally believe those claims. We totally believe they will help us with our issue. And when they put so much candy and carrots in the books, on the websites and in other materials we cannot help but be attracted to it. We must remember that RealLove other cults use attractive delicacies to draw people in whom they then manipulate and control to their own devices. So there is also nothing wrong in needing help from others, or giving help - but not to the degree that RealLove and cults do - controlling your decisions, choices, words, actions, everything. This is gross misuse of people's trust and vulnerability. So lets realise and accept that the good that RealLove promotes is merely candy and carrots to pull us in and get us interested and is not what they are actively promoting and fulfilling in their activities. There is nothing good about RealLove. Nothing unique and divinely gifted from God or Spirit. All just a deception to make you a victim, make you dependant in order to control you and when you become so weak and confused they are unable to help other than brand you a 'victim' and blame you for they have done to you!!!
Finally, it takes a great deal of courage to post about your experiences with a cult. Lets not make things worse for them than it already is, because it really is incredibly important that people can rely on this site for genuine experiences to inform their decision about whether or not to join a group which could potentially be a cult. We don't need to defend and support anything a cult uses (like RealLove using delicious candy and carrots) to draw people in, even if once the person leaves they can find something positive from their experience. NOTHING justifies, or ever should justify the practices of a cult however nice and loving such things are that said cult says and promotes on the surface. After all, its what they use to create genuine, unsuspecting victims whose lives are going to be decimated for many years to come - both in the cult and for years afterwards. People who share their hearts here don't need debates, victim blaming or defence of cults and that is why is it such a fantastic forum for getting 'real' stories out into the world. And who knows how many thousands of people this site/forum have saved from joining a cult over the years it has been up. Long may it continue.