I've been through Choices and I think it's entirely dangerous but it's not the big life changing deal it's made out to be unless you've never experienced any kind of happiness in your life ever then maybe you will fall pretty hard for it. They say to keep what happens a secret but that is to take people off guard. I'll describe the main events because I don't agree with this silly I've got a secret giggle giggle just pay 2 grand to find out what nonsense. It all begins by walking into a large dimly lit conference room with about 70 other people. There is loud music playing and banners on the walls mostly copying phrases coined by other people such as " Be the change you want to see in the world". And "Life begins outside your comfort zone". Nothing is offensive most of it is taken from main stream psychology, Ghandi and Oprah. Thelma comes in and talks to the group and asks for people to share some of what they're feeling why they're there etc. You get a binder with a couple of pens shaped like a screwdriver "your choices tools". Nothing too extreme. The extreme part begins when they make you leave the room change the chairs into groups of 6 or so and then ask you to mill around to loud ominous music and find a "buddy". It has to be someone you've never met or seen before. You have to call them buddy for the rest of the course. Then you and your buddy have to find a group to belong to. Each group has two angry looking "coaches" glaring at everybody. Dressed in black even if you smile and say hello they just glare at you and tell you to sit down or not. I sat with my buddy and she laughed nervously saying what is this? They told us to be quiet and quit laughing because this was serious. This angry facade is all part of what they are supposed to act like. Then we talk about ourselves to the group and they initiate something called I think "trash can". This is where one person stands up and is insulted by each person. One girl volunteered and the coaches said things like I experience you as a fat ugly girl standing in the playground with no friends. I experience you as a lonely miserable shell. She of course started bawling and everybody was really angry and some were outraged that they insulted her so. Then we had to get into new groups and were forced to say things to other people that we never met. I was hesitant and so I was stuttering. One of the coaches pushed me on my back and told me to hurry up and say things that were mean. I said don't touch me again and his face turned purple with rage. Then a coach said she experienced me as a spoiled brat who gets whatever she wants. This was so far from the truth that I actually started laughing by accident and the coaches got really mad and told me I wasn't serious. I just said I'm trying but you're not saying anything that's making me cry. They tried calling me a poor lonely kid who doesent have any friends but it was too much like what they said to the other girl so I didn't cry. We were supposed to say something like I hear you thank you for the feedback when someone insulted us. A lot of people were swearing yelling crying telling the coaches they experienced them as monsters and jerks and other insults so the coaches had to accept it too in fairness. Then we went back to our regular groups and got some homework that we had to do with our buddy in the evening. It was basic stuff like name 5 times you were hurt. Name 5 negative things you say about yourself. It's all designed to break you down to your lowest possible morale. But in fairness you get to do it with other group members so you all feel like your in it together. The next day is more of the same. Loud bursts of music designed to elicit emotional responses especially crying. People crying leaving the room yelling at the coaches etc. Talking about their childhood. You have breaks for food but you have to shovel it down because you don't get much time. Thelma comes in and yells at everyone for not being serious etc. Then everyone gets a name. It's a mean name like walking zombie or given up on life or hopeless drifter. Mine was yeah yeah. I think if they had gotten a name that suited me I might have bought in a little more but I couldn't understand what it meant. I asked honestly to explain what it was they were seeing in me to give me that name and they said rudely that Thelma prays for hours and puts massive thought into coming up with these names so do not question it. I wasn't saying it was wrong just asking for clarity which I didn't get. Some people cried and said their name described them perfectly etc. So we got more homework and people were exhausted of course from all the seething anger and crying mostly. The next day suddenly the coaches were smiling and dressed in colours and beaming at everyone. The music was gentle and emotional. Then they started the reverse training. They had us do reverse trash can and say all these wonderful things about each other. They told the girl from the first day she was a beautiful flower awakening to life (or something like that). The coach that insulted me suddenly was hugging me and telling me I was like the sun shining on the trees. It was really extreme and I recoiled almost as much as to the original one. I didn't like people touching me. Thelma went around getting people to open up and admit things like they loved their wife even though they cheated on her 20 times and blah blah blah. Lots of people said terrible things like they were raped or abused as children. People of course were crying and collapsing and wailing all over the place. Then we had to pick our new contract to describe ourselves. Things like I am a woman who loves myself. I am a strong confident man who loves his wife. We ripped off our old names and wrote out our contracts. I did cry a little at this stage but it also got a bit irritating because this is were people began talking about God and praying and becoming a child of God. My coaches were actually pretty good in respecting my aversion to the religious stuff but it was definitely there if you were keen. Then you are put into a new group chosen by Thelma and told to practice singing and dancing to a song she picked for your group. It was alright. She picks country songs for the most part being Texan I suppose. Music is a huge part of the seminar. The last day each group performs their song while the entire room cheers and screams for them. It's supposed to release your inner spirit and make you experience happiness. Yes they do rock you when you are finished your song. About 5-10 people lift you up and rock you back and forth. It was concerning to see them do it to pregnant women but they were very careful it's true. So then after you are in this black room with a song playing holding a candle and you turn around and see the person to "sponsored" you ie told you to come standing with a lit candle. They light your candle and again everyone is crying. Etc etc. They gave you dried beans on day 3 and told you it is medicine to give to people in need. Symbolic of course but Ill tell you sone people went crazy crying handing out medicine to everyone and giving it to their Sponser. You do all kinds of other exercises like talking about tapes playing in your head that say mean things to you. That's apparently why they do trash can to get you in touch with your negative tapes. It's not a bad idea but it is quite harsh and really didn't work for me because they weren't guess guessing the right tapes I had in my head. You go through this line up with your eyes closed where each person says something kind to you and touches your hands and arms. It's not bad really but the problem is that people become obsessed with it like they are on a high. They approach strangers and give out medicine (beans) and hug them and then act like its some great secret that they have found out and try to get people to go to choices. So it's one heck of a good marketing scheme and profitable business I'll give Thelma credit for that but it is flawed and the euphoria doesn't last. I never had the euphoria but other people sure did. The other thing is that your buddy and coaches have to keep in touch with you by phone and when I didn't phone them back I had a really cold reception at the next phase of the seminar called colours. I was quite ostracized because I wasn't falling into it like an obsession. This is also when they began to get more forceful regarding the religion. Some people downright ignored me and were purposefully rude to me because I wasn't interested in the religion and because I was reserved with my gushing. I was pleasant just not acting like I had a labotomy that took out my frontal cortex and made me loose all inhibition. It was common for the men to take off their shirts and run in a circle to the blasting of St. Elmo's Fire. Like I said if you lived your life in a strict militant environment I can see you letting loose in choices and flying high but if you're an average person whose had good times and bad you might find it extreme, a little annoying and a waste of money. Knowing more about what gies on might make it easier for a professional to analyze this seminar and I'd be interested to hear it. Also they do target the Native bands. My buddy was Native and she said her band pays for people to go. About 50% of the participants were Native. Thelma said she's proud they've chosen choices to aid with their cultural healing. So I don't know I think it's a money grab but it depends.
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