I spent too many years with a corrupt therapist who exploited this technique.
Am sorry to say I fell for it.
Sexualized teasing, trash talk, shock talk, insults cloaked in humor --
In my opinion if anyone does this even ONCE, I would advice dropping this person at once.
If you've become emotionally involved, please, regard one incident of trash talk or shock talk, or insult humor as game changing and a signal to GET OUT.
For a manipulator will wait until you're emotionally involved before doing this.
If after just one incident, we stick around, this signals we are willing to permit a boundary insult. Then the person will do it again, and again, and we
risk losing contact with our boundaries, we go numb, we lose our self respect.
Thus begins the Highway to Hell.
If the person is young, he or she needs a firm lesson that this is wrong. No need to be cruel in response, just say, I dont like this, and dump them.
If they beg you to let them make amends, tell them, dont do this to the next person you go out with. Then leave.
Ive lived a long enough time and been through enough of this to know that abusive people often test us by utlizing sudden, out of context shock talk, or what
we can call queasy teasing.
Recently, I permitted this again. Was at a comedy club after an expensive dinner
my cousin paid for. All the comedians used trash talk and one comedian singled our table out for her trash talk. She also singled me out and my cousin.
Knowing what I know now, I should have walked out.
If everyone walked out on trash talk comedy acts, we'd force
comedians to show genuine talent or find some other occupation.
Am sorry to say I fell for it.
Sexualized teasing, trash talk, shock talk, insults cloaked in humor --
In my opinion if anyone does this even ONCE, I would advice dropping this person at once.
If you've become emotionally involved, please, regard one incident of trash talk or shock talk, or insult humor as game changing and a signal to GET OUT.
For a manipulator will wait until you're emotionally involved before doing this.
If after just one incident, we stick around, this signals we are willing to permit a boundary insult. Then the person will do it again, and again, and we
risk losing contact with our boundaries, we go numb, we lose our self respect.
Thus begins the Highway to Hell.
If the person is young, he or she needs a firm lesson that this is wrong. No need to be cruel in response, just say, I dont like this, and dump them.
If they beg you to let them make amends, tell them, dont do this to the next person you go out with. Then leave.
Ive lived a long enough time and been through enough of this to know that abusive people often test us by utlizing sudden, out of context shock talk, or what
we can call queasy teasing.
Recently, I permitted this again. Was at a comedy club after an expensive dinner
my cousin paid for. All the comedians used trash talk and one comedian singled our table out for her trash talk. She also singled me out and my cousin.
Knowing what I know now, I should have walked out.
If everyone walked out on trash talk comedy acts, we'd force
comedians to show genuine talent or find some other occupation.