TRIGGER WARNING:
The following details are explicit, and not for the squeamish or faint of heart. This deals with the medical fallout. There are also some minimal sexual references, though I am keeping it as clean as I can.
This contains some detail about what actually happened. First, some background in this link:
[forum.culteducation.com]
What they (possibly) didn't know that they didn't know... but judging from their behavior, maybe they didn't care.
1) There was another person involved in all of this, and apparently providing information. Some of the information used could not have come from anywhere else. What they (L.E. people involved), might not have known is that this other person had previously threatened me, (years earlier). I had been creeped out, as he had my address and phone number, and I hadn't even known his name, at the time of the threat. The (shaman) "friend" who recruited me into L.E. was aware of this, and was capable of contact with that person.
2) They caused me long-term physical damage, (see post about Tuesday night session). The sex was extremely rough, and there is no doubt in my mind that this roughness was deliberate. I normally would have asked the other person to stop, but I didn't. I felt that something had been done to my mind. I was aware of the pain, but felt unable to ask that person to stop, and I don't know why. I am NOT into pain.
This all happened in the same time period when I was being subjected to L.E.'s "sound emitting device," and I don't know what effect that had on my mind. All I know is that every time I heard it, I felt irritable, spacey and weepy. It felt as if it were affecting my nervous system. I felt almost as if I had been drugged, but still don't know, and have no evidence of that. If I was, it wasn't the typical stuff. I was conscious and I remember everything.
Afterwards, I was unable to void my bladder for hours, though I badly needed to. I thought that I was going to have to go to the hospital and get a U-cath, but narrowly missed that. After passing blood for several days, I went to the doctor.
The doctor asked me repeatedly if I had been raped. I kept telling her "no. " I had consented, and at no point had I asked him to stop. She told me that there were extensive bruises and lacerations, as she had only ever seen in the aftermath of violent rape.
The day after all this happened, I was in a phone call with my seminar group. Everyone was behaving strangely toward me on the phone. One of the women commented that I was confused. One of the guys said, "You understand that it's a game, don't you?" Later that week, in the seminar, the same guy asked me, "Did you get what you wanted?"
The same week, I spoke to the assistant seminar leader, and he asked me if I thought that I was crazy. I told him that I didn't know, but that my therapist agreed with me that it was best that I end my participation in L.E. Rather than showing any concern, his response was to try to sell me on the next seminar. He told me that if I attended, my question as to my sanity would be answered.
What they might not have known:
I had had surgery prior to this. Up until this incident, there had been no issues with it. Mr. Acronym ripped the surgical mesh. This resulted in long-term physical damage. Among other things, I now often have to stay near a bathroom. If it can be repaired, it is likely to take multiple surgeries.
I did not meet this guy on grounds at the center, but my recruiter knew where I went to unwind, and had gone to this place with me. Mr. Acronym literally just walked up to me in that place and started staring me down.
My recruiter, (and others at Landmark), seemed to know way too much about this situation, though she claimed that she didn't know him. She would ask me questions that she already knew the answers to, and if I didn't give her the answer she wanted, she would "correct" me.
Add to all of this the fact that his name was an exact match of the acronym mentioned in the above linked post, yet he swore that he had nothing to do with LE.
The following details are explicit, and not for the squeamish or faint of heart. This deals with the medical fallout. There are also some minimal sexual references, though I am keeping it as clean as I can.
This contains some detail about what actually happened. First, some background in this link:
[forum.culteducation.com]
What they (possibly) didn't know that they didn't know... but judging from their behavior, maybe they didn't care.
1) There was another person involved in all of this, and apparently providing information. Some of the information used could not have come from anywhere else. What they (L.E. people involved), might not have known is that this other person had previously threatened me, (years earlier). I had been creeped out, as he had my address and phone number, and I hadn't even known his name, at the time of the threat. The (shaman) "friend" who recruited me into L.E. was aware of this, and was capable of contact with that person.
2) They caused me long-term physical damage, (see post about Tuesday night session). The sex was extremely rough, and there is no doubt in my mind that this roughness was deliberate. I normally would have asked the other person to stop, but I didn't. I felt that something had been done to my mind. I was aware of the pain, but felt unable to ask that person to stop, and I don't know why. I am NOT into pain.
This all happened in the same time period when I was being subjected to L.E.'s "sound emitting device," and I don't know what effect that had on my mind. All I know is that every time I heard it, I felt irritable, spacey and weepy. It felt as if it were affecting my nervous system. I felt almost as if I had been drugged, but still don't know, and have no evidence of that. If I was, it wasn't the typical stuff. I was conscious and I remember everything.
Afterwards, I was unable to void my bladder for hours, though I badly needed to. I thought that I was going to have to go to the hospital and get a U-cath, but narrowly missed that. After passing blood for several days, I went to the doctor.
The doctor asked me repeatedly if I had been raped. I kept telling her "no. " I had consented, and at no point had I asked him to stop. She told me that there were extensive bruises and lacerations, as she had only ever seen in the aftermath of violent rape.
The day after all this happened, I was in a phone call with my seminar group. Everyone was behaving strangely toward me on the phone. One of the women commented that I was confused. One of the guys said, "You understand that it's a game, don't you?" Later that week, in the seminar, the same guy asked me, "Did you get what you wanted?"
The same week, I spoke to the assistant seminar leader, and he asked me if I thought that I was crazy. I told him that I didn't know, but that my therapist agreed with me that it was best that I end my participation in L.E. Rather than showing any concern, his response was to try to sell me on the next seminar. He told me that if I attended, my question as to my sanity would be answered.
What they might not have known:
I had had surgery prior to this. Up until this incident, there had been no issues with it. Mr. Acronym ripped the surgical mesh. This resulted in long-term physical damage. Among other things, I now often have to stay near a bathroom. If it can be repaired, it is likely to take multiple surgeries.
I did not meet this guy on grounds at the center, but my recruiter knew where I went to unwind, and had gone to this place with me. Mr. Acronym literally just walked up to me in that place and started staring me down.
My recruiter, (and others at Landmark), seemed to know way too much about this situation, though she claimed that she didn't know him. She would ask me questions that she already knew the answers to, and if I didn't give her the answer she wanted, she would "correct" me.
Add to all of this the fact that his name was an exact match of the acronym mentioned in the above linked post, yet he swore that he had nothing to do with LE.