Another basic flaw with this group is their idea that everyone should run from their feelings. Of course they wouldn't put it that way, but let's look closely.
1. "If you are feeling bad get someone to love you." [In other words run from the feeling, distract yourself with someone else].
2. "Anger is always wrong." [In other words, you are not allowed to be angry].
This idea of running from your feelings is pervasive in this group though they deny it [denial is pervasive too].
I believe this is a prime reason why this group is so disempowering. If your feelings are wrong and you are encouraged to run from them [get loved from someone outside yourself], you will be running forever, and spending a lot of money on interventions, retreats, calls, etc.
Feelings are not wrong. Anger is not wrong. Sadness is not wrong. If you see these feelings as wrong you will be stuck in them forever. Feelings are just sensations that are coming up to be loved and welcomed. They generally have to do with repressed aspects of our psyches that were not allowed to be felt. Now when we are more mature we can let them to come up, welcome them, love them and let them go.
A basic principle missed in RL is: If anger comes up, welcome it. If sadness comes up, welcome it. Love and welcome whatever comes up. This especially means do not blame someone else. Do not put it on someone else. Allow these feelings to come up, own them, take responsibility for them, love them and let them go. No need to dramatise them, put them out on others, or blame.
By bringing love to every aspect of our psyches we heal, not by running from feelings or seeking distractions from them or outside consolations.
This doesn't mean other people can't help. If someone is clear they can help you see through your blaming, attacking, and victimhood and help you see beyond the tantrums we pull to get our own way. So other people can help, they just need to be clear themselves.
1. "If you are feeling bad get someone to love you." [In other words run from the feeling, distract yourself with someone else].
2. "Anger is always wrong." [In other words, you are not allowed to be angry].
This idea of running from your feelings is pervasive in this group though they deny it [denial is pervasive too].
I believe this is a prime reason why this group is so disempowering. If your feelings are wrong and you are encouraged to run from them [get loved from someone outside yourself], you will be running forever, and spending a lot of money on interventions, retreats, calls, etc.
Feelings are not wrong. Anger is not wrong. Sadness is not wrong. If you see these feelings as wrong you will be stuck in them forever. Feelings are just sensations that are coming up to be loved and welcomed. They generally have to do with repressed aspects of our psyches that were not allowed to be felt. Now when we are more mature we can let them to come up, welcome them, love them and let them go.
A basic principle missed in RL is: If anger comes up, welcome it. If sadness comes up, welcome it. Love and welcome whatever comes up. This especially means do not blame someone else. Do not put it on someone else. Allow these feelings to come up, own them, take responsibility for them, love them and let them go. No need to dramatise them, put them out on others, or blame.
By bringing love to every aspect of our psyches we heal, not by running from feelings or seeking distractions from them or outside consolations.
This doesn't mean other people can't help. If someone is clear they can help you see through your blaming, attacking, and victimhood and help you see beyond the tantrums we pull to get our own way. So other people can help, they just need to be clear themselves.