Thanks for your posts, I've really enjoyed reading them. I think one of the things to avoid is black and white thinking. Reallove® is a mixed bag. It's got some really good ideas, some questionable ones and some obvious false premises.
To really help people with this, imo, one needs to acknowledge the good, which is to say validate what is true. Until someone feels validated they will not listen to anything else.
So yes, the Reallove® ideas on victimhood are well stated, helpful and valuable. Validate that with anyone involved.
The principle of making love the most important thing in a relationship: excellent.
The idea of ending blame: excellent.
The idea of having people that you can feel connected with: wonderful.
Learning to be authentic: great.
Having intelligent boundaries: excellent.
There are many really great principles presented in Reallove®.
I've already written extensively on this thread about some of the obvious false premises presented by this organization... but again, I repeat, no one will listen to us if we don't first validate the true and good things.
All I can say to anyone who has not been effective with a friend helping them see some of the problems with this group, please check if you first listened and validated.
First rule, don't be negative, don't be a hater. Love and respect any friends you have involved with this. Give them time, lovingly and respectfully point out the obvious false premises and contradictions after validating the good things.
To really help people with this, imo, one needs to acknowledge the good, which is to say validate what is true. Until someone feels validated they will not listen to anything else.
So yes, the Reallove® ideas on victimhood are well stated, helpful and valuable. Validate that with anyone involved.
The principle of making love the most important thing in a relationship: excellent.
The idea of ending blame: excellent.
The idea of having people that you can feel connected with: wonderful.
Learning to be authentic: great.
Having intelligent boundaries: excellent.
There are many really great principles presented in Reallove®.
I've already written extensively on this thread about some of the obvious false premises presented by this organization... but again, I repeat, no one will listen to us if we don't first validate the true and good things.
All I can say to anyone who has not been effective with a friend helping them see some of the problems with this group, please check if you first listened and validated.
First rule, don't be negative, don't be a hater. Love and respect any friends you have involved with this. Give them time, lovingly and respectfully point out the obvious false premises and contradictions after validating the good things.