Sportsguy,
I'm sorry you're in pain. You are in the company of many. My experience is also with LEC, but sounds like it would also apply to other LGATS.
To answer your question about narcisism, and I also suspect sociopathy ~ yes, LEC, changes people's character for the worse. The only loyalty I saw in my "friends" after the ILP was to LE.
They believe that they are better or at a "higher level," but I think what they are experiencing is a freedom from any sense of responsibility, (though the word "accountability" is ubiquitous throughout the whole LE culture). This includes freedom from any responsibility for the consequences of their actions to friends, family, spouses ~ you name it.
There IS a certain sense of "freedom," in not having to think for yourself, (akin to the "freedom" some demented person may feel if they should decide to forego their toilet training).
This would be especially true if you consider all of the convoluted reasoning they use ~ it's exhausting. It's so much easier to just follow orders, and to assume that the person giving the orders must be right than it is to argue with them.
After about 18 months in the program, I think I finally "popped." I was suddenly giggling hysterically, and felt as though someone could have sucked me down a drain without a fight.
I felt free of EVERYTHING, especially free of all responsibility or the need to make decisions, but also felt that what I had experienced was the breaking of my will, (or, as someone suggested, my conscience). I was simultaneously giggling and furious. On the one hand, I felt "liberated," and on the other hand, I felt so incredibly violated. The degree to which they had stuck their noses into my personal life to accomplish this was grotesque.
This anger bordered on rage. I resolved to stay away from anyone associated with LE until I had recovered. I did not answer phones calls from these "friends" for a few days. I had my ex-boyfriend come over and stay with me for the weekend, and took a meditation class from a friend. I trusted these people. Both were very wary of LE, and had never taken any of their classes.
I felt very fragile.
It was shortly after this when I left.
I'm sorry you're in pain. You are in the company of many. My experience is also with LEC, but sounds like it would also apply to other LGATS.
To answer your question about narcisism, and I also suspect sociopathy ~ yes, LEC, changes people's character for the worse. The only loyalty I saw in my "friends" after the ILP was to LE.
They believe that they are better or at a "higher level," but I think what they are experiencing is a freedom from any sense of responsibility, (though the word "accountability" is ubiquitous throughout the whole LE culture). This includes freedom from any responsibility for the consequences of their actions to friends, family, spouses ~ you name it.
There IS a certain sense of "freedom," in not having to think for yourself, (akin to the "freedom" some demented person may feel if they should decide to forego their toilet training).
This would be especially true if you consider all of the convoluted reasoning they use ~ it's exhausting. It's so much easier to just follow orders, and to assume that the person giving the orders must be right than it is to argue with them.
After about 18 months in the program, I think I finally "popped." I was suddenly giggling hysterically, and felt as though someone could have sucked me down a drain without a fight.
I felt free of EVERYTHING, especially free of all responsibility or the need to make decisions, but also felt that what I had experienced was the breaking of my will, (or, as someone suggested, my conscience). I was simultaneously giggling and furious. On the one hand, I felt "liberated," and on the other hand, I felt so incredibly violated. The degree to which they had stuck their noses into my personal life to accomplish this was grotesque.
This anger bordered on rage. I resolved to stay away from anyone associated with LE until I had recovered. I did not answer phones calls from these "friends" for a few days. I had my ex-boyfriend come over and stay with me for the weekend, and took a meditation class from a friend. I trusted these people. Both were very wary of LE, and had never taken any of their classes.
I felt very fragile.
It was shortly after this when I left.